Guest Post: Names have been changed 1, Ex-Muslim and Gay in Bangladesh প্রাক্তন মুসলিম এবং বাংলাদেশের গে

 Guest Post: Names have been changed 1, 

Ex-Muslim and Gay in Bangladesh

প্রাক্তন মুসলিম এবং বাংলাদেশের গে

By: Sajal

Forward by: Jeremy Boulat (me)

    "Names have been changed in order to protect the persons involved."  We have to open this post like this.  Offending the religion of Islam in Bangladesh is illegal.  Being gay in Bangladesh is illegal.  Both are punishable by long prison sentences, or, extra-legally, by death.  

    Bangladesh is a majority Muslim country with strict laws against so-called blasphemy.  Under Section 295A of Bangladesh's Penal Code (1860), any person who has a "deliberate" or "malicious" intention of "hurting religious sentiments" is liable to imprisonment(1).  Secular bloggers have been arrested (2), and even hacked to death by mobs (3).  

    The situation for LGBT people in Bangladesh is no better, if not worse.  Section 377 of the Penal Code forbids carnal intercourse "against the order of nature," regardless of the gender and sexual orientation of the participants.  Thus, sex between members of the same sex can be punishable by life in prison (4). Mob "justice" is often meted out to LGBT individuals: "On 25 April 2016, Xulhaz Mannan, founder of Roopbaan magazine and organizer of the Rainbow Rally, was killed in his apartment together with a friend"(5).

    Thus, it would be absolutely irresponsible for me to reveal the identity of the brave young man who has come forward to tell his story.  Let us, for now, identify him as Sajal.  Sajal is an ex-Muslim, gay man who speaks to us on condition of anonymity, and I thank him for his courage. 

    I was born into a lower middle class family in Bangladesh. 

    From childhood, I felt something in my heart whenever I saw any actor from a movie/model baring his body. That didn't feel unnatural then, as I didn't give it too much thought. In adolescence, I became slightly worried as my classmates were always talking about girls. I just couldn't understand why I didn't have any attraction to girls. But still, for the sake of being social, I partook in those conversations with fake enthusiasm. But, after a certain time, I always got annoyed or didn't have much to contribute to the conversations. Day by day, I became an introvert. You know, 90% of young Bangladeshi boys' conversations are all about girls. 

     I was not a feminine type of man, and I always took part in sports and had interest in those. So, no one ever suspected I was gay. I got lucky there. You can't imagine what feminine boys in school have to go through here. 

     I thought only those who are slightly feminine type have attraction for people of same gender. So, I could not understand why I had that type of attraction. But, when I was 16, I was exposed to the internet. To my surprise, I found out that anyone can be a gay. Not only gay, there is also a wide sexual spectrum. 

    I got my biggest shock when I found out that my own religion hates gay people. Allah destroyed a whole tribe for homosexuality and also prepared eternal punishment.  And Mohammed, my beloved prophet, ordered us to be killed. I was mentally devastated. I could not get over the fact easily. But, still I didn't think of raising any question against Islam ever due to the brainwashed upbringing of I had had, just like any other Muslim boy. I thought Islam was perfect and that Allah was always right. 

    At 21, I started to be slightly rational and decided to dig deeper into this religion. I found some controversial things such as slavery, killing apostates, and misogyny, all of which previously I thought to be fabricated. That made me skeptical in the true sense. But, the more and more I studied, watched debates from both sides, read articles, the clearer it became that these so called holy texts are not from any God or His chosen man. Eventually, after 1 year of being skeptical, I decided to finally leave Islam at 22 and became atheist on the agnostic side. I never felt so much mental relief before. I finally had no prejudice against me; I accepted myself completely. I was able to overcome my brainwashing which made me proud. I think leaving any religion makes anyone a better human being. It is major thing of conflict among humans. Atheists sees others as only human beings, nothing else. 

     I only came out as atheist and gay to only one of my close friend who is gay but not atheist. He is a good human being and a peaceful man who doesn't condone any kind of violence. But, I could not get him to think rationally about Islam because he is too much afraid of hellfire. Hopefully, he will understand some day. 

    Most of the people around me, though, are very impulsive. They hate atheists and think of them as enemies of Islam. My country has history of murdering atheists and bloggers. If you are found to be an atheist and utter any word against Islam, either you will be a victim of mass beating which can lead you to death and no one will care a slightest bit, or you will be in jail for defamation of religion. Any homosexual act is also a criminal offense. So, staying here while keeping my apostate or gay identify secret is becoming very suffocating. 

    Just waiting to flee to a country where I can see me having a safe and tension free future.

         -Sajal